Nova's Slap-Nuts Theatre!
Ladies and Gentlemen, today's post is gonna be a lil' different as a treat to the 2 or 3 of you who still read my dribble. In this update I shall be reprising my role as Henchman and Dookie Dick (aka Darryl aka Dimebag) will be helping me to review various porn titles.
Henchman: And our first title for tonight is the wonderful "Ass Appeal." I for one thought that this was well worth the $10 I spent on it. Whaddaya think Dookie?
Dookie Dick: OH YES! BROWN EYE! But I gotta say man, I was kinda disappointed that they were goin' into that evil pink place.
HM: Uh....whaddaya mean EVIL pink place?
DD: Shit man, that thing makes babies! The brown won't steer you wrong! BROWN EYE TODAY! BROWN EYE TOMORROW! BROWN EYE FOREVER!
HM: Uh.....yea, um moving right along. Our next video is "Big Booty Revenge." And as a fan of nice asses, this one was right up my alley.
DD: Oh man I wanna get in every one of dem asses too! Give it to me baby, give it to me baby! Man I whacked off so hard to this flick last night it was a sin. I think my dick started to dry-heave.
HM: DAMMIT DOOKIE NOBODY WANTS TO KNOW THAT! JESUS CHRIST MAN TMI!
DD: I think I feel asleep with it still in my hand and...
HM: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT YOUR DAMNED PIE-HOLE! (sighs and breathes) Ok.....next up folks is Phatty Girls 5. For all of you out there who love sexy chocolate women gettin' their freak on, this one is NOT to be missed.
DD: Oh man I'd love to go balls-deep in Diana Devoe's ass. Can you imagine how tight her asshole probably is? I bet it'd make my dick explode!
HM: (sobbing) Why God? Why do I have to put up with this shit? What'd I do to deserve this?
DD: I'll be right back man I'm gonna go watch the first scene of the next flick and rub one out.
HM: (choking back vomit) Yeah man, you do that. Our next film is "Whores of the Orient." Full of beautiful asian women, this one's sure to please anybody who's into a lil' bit of asian spice.
DD: (coming back into the review room) Whew-wee! That was a monster load man! I think I'm on empty now.
HM: SHUT UP MAN!
DD: I love this movie, all those dirty little asians. Oh yes, with their tight little asian browns.
HM: What the HELL is your fascination with makin' the brown-eye blue? Y'know what nevermind. Our last video for review for tonight actually features a friend of mine. Ms. Jia, I'mean Kina Kara. The video is "Doin It Big." While I feel the video is hot and well-done, it was kinda awkward watching a homegirl "get jiggy wit it."
DD: Man o man, nice round asses galore! When's your homegirl gonna do an anal scene? I think it'd be pretty hot to see her take it in the ass.
HM: As far as I know she's not into gettin' blammed in the pooper dawg.
DD: Aw man....
HM: Well folks we hope you enjoyed yourselves tonight at Slap-Nuts Theatre! See ya around everybody!
DD: BROWN EYE IS THE PATH TO ENLIGHTENMENT!
Henchman: And our first title for tonight is the wonderful "Ass Appeal." I for one thought that this was well worth the $10 I spent on it. Whaddaya think Dookie?
Dookie Dick: OH YES! BROWN EYE! But I gotta say man, I was kinda disappointed that they were goin' into that evil pink place.
HM: Uh....whaddaya mean EVIL pink place?
DD: Shit man, that thing makes babies! The brown won't steer you wrong! BROWN EYE TODAY! BROWN EYE TOMORROW! BROWN EYE FOREVER!
HM: Uh.....yea, um moving right along. Our next video is "Big Booty Revenge." And as a fan of nice asses, this one was right up my alley.
DD: Oh man I wanna get in every one of dem asses too! Give it to me baby, give it to me baby! Man I whacked off so hard to this flick last night it was a sin. I think my dick started to dry-heave.
HM: DAMMIT DOOKIE NOBODY WANTS TO KNOW THAT! JESUS CHRIST MAN TMI!
DD: I think I feel asleep with it still in my hand and...
HM: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT YOUR DAMNED PIE-HOLE! (sighs and breathes) Ok.....next up folks is Phatty Girls 5. For all of you out there who love sexy chocolate women gettin' their freak on, this one is NOT to be missed.
DD: Oh man I'd love to go balls-deep in Diana Devoe's ass. Can you imagine how tight her asshole probably is? I bet it'd make my dick explode!
HM: (sobbing) Why God? Why do I have to put up with this shit? What'd I do to deserve this?
DD: I'll be right back man I'm gonna go watch the first scene of the next flick and rub one out.
HM: (choking back vomit) Yeah man, you do that. Our next film is "Whores of the Orient." Full of beautiful asian women, this one's sure to please anybody who's into a lil' bit of asian spice.
DD: (coming back into the review room) Whew-wee! That was a monster load man! I think I'm on empty now.
HM: SHUT UP MAN!
DD: I love this movie, all those dirty little asians. Oh yes, with their tight little asian browns.
HM: What the HELL is your fascination with makin' the brown-eye blue? Y'know what nevermind. Our last video for review for tonight actually features a friend of mine. Ms. Jia, I'mean Kina Kara. The video is "Doin It Big." While I feel the video is hot and well-done, it was kinda awkward watching a homegirl "get jiggy wit it."
DD: Man o man, nice round asses galore! When's your homegirl gonna do an anal scene? I think it'd be pretty hot to see her take it in the ass.
HM: As far as I know she's not into gettin' blammed in the pooper dawg.
DD: Aw man....
HM: Well folks we hope you enjoyed yourselves tonight at Slap-Nuts Theatre! See ya around everybody!
DD: BROWN EYE IS THE PATH TO ENLIGHTENMENT!
posted by Nova at 8:11 PM
1 Comments:
You...are going to hell. Dimebag first, though.
That is all.
*P.S. I would have found this funnier if you hadn't of told me about it last night...
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