Another delay, but I finally made it

Fucked up quote of the day: "Do these shitheads EVER saw when they're coming back?!" - Me pissed off that the DHL guy came with my replacement phone while I was out and didn't even leave a return time. Come to think of it, DHL drivers never do.

Now Spinning: "One Thing" by Amerie

Well, after two delays I finally was able to get my ass out to New Orleans last weekend to be with my baby. Things didn't exactly go smoothly Friday night, I'll let you guys read her blog for that info, but Saturday definitely made up for it. And regardless of what she tells you nice folks at home..........she started it. I just finished it. :D Just being able to cuddle at the hotel was great, but I'm not gonna front like the sex wasn't good too. lmao Anyway, I was kinda paranoid with ChiChi being a virgin and all, so to say that I was trying to be extra gentle might be an understatement. It took a little while, but I'm really glad that she enjoyed it. What was funny to me was that after she came the first time she was ready to go to sleep. LMAO So I held her while she slept for a little while until she woke up and was ready to go again. Oh and uh....to all the guys out there, be careful if your girl is a squirter cuz she almost put my eye out. I can't wait 'til I get done with basic training so I can make my return to my baby and the Big Easy. I'll actually have some of my usual wild shit to say later tonight. PEACE MUHFUCKAS!

Friday is the day!

Fucked up quote of the day: "Oh don't mind that grunt, it was just me squashin' off a big ol' shit-log." - Dimebag informing me of his activities when I called 'em earlier today.......I promptly hung up.

Now Spinning: "Fly Away" by Izawa Asami (Yeah I listen to J-Pop, what of it?)

What's goins on folks? Sorry I've been MIA, I promise to update with something amusing tonight or tomorrow morning. But just had to put out there that I'm goin' to N.O. to see my baby Chi-Chi this friday. With that said, don't be surprised if we both have X-rated stories to tell between this coming weekend and next monday.

Freak-nasty meme

1. HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID IN 2006?
Not yet. But I plan to get my fill when I go to visit the missus. (evil grin)

2. EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE?
nah, nearly gettin' caught ain't the hotness

3. EVER LAUGH DURING SEX? IF SO WHY?
One time cuz the girl I was with came so hard that she jumped off. I personally thought it was HILARIOUS!

4. EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO WHY?
HELL NO! If so, somethin's hurtin' like a muthafucka!

5. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX?
If it was good and/or with my woman. If it was bad I bail dammit.

6. EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE?
A friend of mine....that is all. ChiChi knows about this. (smh)

7. EVER FAKED AN ORGASM?
Yes, see above question.

8. DIRTY TALK, OR SHUT THE FUCK UP?
I TALK REAL DIRTY DAMMIT. MY EXPERIENCE SHOWS WOMEN LOVE IT! (evil laugh)

9. EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX:
Yes. Have I've been tested? Yes. I need to get a civilian test though.

10. EVER MASTERBATE TO YOUR FRIEND'S SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
No.

11. EVER HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND?
Too paranoid for that.

12. HOW BOUT A 3-SOME?
Too much goin' on at one time for me.

13. EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX?
Nah, but me and ChiChi might make one or two.....dozen. >:)

14. EVER THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE DURING SEX?
lol nah

15. HAS THE CONDOM EVER BROKE?
Once

16. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARASSING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE?
(shrugs)

17. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY?
17

18. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH RIGHT NOW?
ChiChi

19. DO YOU THINK THAT number 18 IS POSSIBLE?
Fuck yea baby

20. ARE YOU HORNY NOW?
Not at the moment

21. WOULD U HAVE SEX WITH THE PERSON THAT POSTED THIS?
Hypothetically, GP could get da bidness if I was single.

Dammit we gotta do better

Fucked up quote of the day: "What's that super queer want? LOL" - My dad after I told 'em that Macintosh called the house and wanted to see how everyone was doing.

Now Spinning: "Getaway Car" by Tobymac

Y'know, I love my black folks I really do, but some of you guys really need to stop some of the shit you do. ESPECIALLY on film. This is a tribute (with commentary of course) to the ghetto, hood-rich, and just plain niggerish. I might just put some non-black folks in here just to prove a point. LMAO

Why couldn't I get this lucky when I was six?











Damn Whitney's lookin' rough!











Get it kid! Get it! She'll get in trouble before you will!








Cute but.......IF IT DOESN'T FIT YOU MUST AQUIT!










What....in.....the....HOT HELL?!







LMAO! FTFO! I'mean GET A ROOM!








That's one way mommy can take care of daddy and baby simultaneously. She sucky sucky, love you long time in front of baby!





WTF is this? The damn ghetto Sprite ad?










........I have nothing to say. That is all.










I'm sorry, but anybody wearing this has GOTTA know they look like a damned fool!

Nova's Slap-Nuts Theatre!

Ladies and Gentlemen, today's post is gonna be a lil' different as a treat to the 2 or 3 of you who still read my dribble. In this update I shall be reprising my role as Henchman and Dookie Dick (aka Darryl aka Dimebag) will be helping me to review various porn titles.



Henchman: And our first title for tonight is the wonderful "Ass Appeal." I for one thought that this was well worth the $10 I spent on it. Whaddaya think Dookie?

Dookie Dick: OH YES! BROWN EYE! But I gotta say man, I was kinda disappointed that they were goin' into that evil pink place.

HM: Uh....whaddaya mean EVIL pink place?

DD: Shit man, that thing makes babies! The brown won't steer you wrong! BROWN EYE TODAY! BROWN EYE TOMORROW! BROWN EYE FOREVER!



HM: Uh.....yea, um moving right along. Our next video is "Big Booty Revenge." And as a fan of nice asses, this one was right up my alley.

DD: Oh man I wanna get in every one of dem asses too! Give it to me baby, give it to me baby! Man I whacked off so hard to this flick last night it was a sin. I think my dick started to dry-heave.

HM: DAMMIT DOOKIE NOBODY WANTS TO KNOW THAT! JESUS CHRIST MAN TMI!

DD: I think I feel asleep with it still in my hand and...

HM: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT YOUR DAMNED PIE-HOLE! (sighs and breathes) Ok.....next up folks is Phatty Girls 5. For all of you out there who love sexy chocolate women gettin' their freak on, this one is NOT to be missed.



DD: Oh man I'd love to go balls-deep in Diana Devoe's ass. Can you imagine how tight her asshole probably is? I bet it'd make my dick explode!

HM: (sobbing) Why God? Why do I have to put up with this shit? What'd I do to deserve this?

DD: I'll be right back man I'm gonna go watch the first scene of the next flick and rub one out.

HM: (choking back vomit) Yeah man, you do that. Our next film is "Whores of the Orient." Full of beautiful asian women, this one's sure to please anybody who's into a lil' bit of asian spice.



DD: (coming back into the review room) Whew-wee! That was a monster load man! I think I'm on empty now.

HM: SHUT UP MAN!

DD: I love this movie, all those dirty little asians. Oh yes, with their tight little asian browns.

HM: What the HELL is your fascination with makin' the brown-eye blue? Y'know what nevermind. Our last video for review for tonight actually features a friend of mine. Ms. Jia, I'mean Kina Kara. The video is "Doin It Big." While I feel the video is hot and well-done, it was kinda awkward watching a homegirl "get jiggy wit it."



DD: Man o man, nice round asses galore! When's your homegirl gonna do an anal scene? I think it'd be pretty hot to see her take it in the ass.

HM: As far as I know she's not into gettin' blammed in the pooper dawg.

DD: Aw man....

HM: Well folks we hope you enjoyed yourselves tonight at Slap-Nuts Theatre! See ya around everybody!

DD: BROWN EYE IS THE PATH TO ENLIGHTENMENT!

Holy Jumpin' Fuckin' Shitballs!

Fucked up quote of the day: "Why're these people allowed to breed?" - Me talking to Darryl about some of the more "interesting" individuals we went to college with. Hey if you knew those dipshits you'd understand.

Now Spinning: "Kotowari" (instrumental)

Man has anybody seen some of the wild shit on the news lately? For those not in the know, an elderly couple has been arrested and brought up on charges for, wait for it................putting out a hit on their grandkids. No I didn't make that shit up. But here's the really fucked up part, apparently they did it cuz they were pissed off that the kids exposed that their father (the couple's son) molested them for the past four years. Maybe it's just me, but dammit I say it's their son who needs to get fucked up, not their grandkids. Oh well, the kids are safe and hopefully daddy, grandpa and grandma will each become fresh cell-block bitches. Otis! Y'got fresh meat comin' buddy!

And then some lady got busted for repeatedly locking her 13 year old grandson in a kennel while she went to work, etc. for 11+ hours at a time. Look, I know there's some badass kids out there, but I can't think of any who do shit bad enough to deserve THAT on a regular basis. Where do these people get their fuckin' parents skills, Pookie da Pimp?

Shit like this is exactly why I couldn't commit suicide. I'm too entertained watching the folks out there, the true fuckin' face of America. (Inhales deeply) Ahhhh.......nothing says entertainment like being in a world full of psychos and misfits.

Guess who's back in da muddafuckin' house!

Fucked up daily quote: "Man, I took a shit earlier that made my ass burn." - Dimebag giving me a lil' TMI earlier.

Now Spinning: "Work" by The Roots

Yea, yea I know I know, I've been gone for fuckin' ever. Cut me some slack folks these past two weeks I've been busier than a hooker on payday. But back in my typical ranting, raving fashion I'm gonna spill about some recent news that's on my mind.

Sick polygamist bastard:
Will somebody PLEASE kill this sick fuck? I'mean really, my problem isn't even the fact that he's a polygamist, even though I deplore polygamy. Oh no, my problem with this sick bastard is that he goes out of his way to break of the families of his "followers" to assigns husbands to wives as he sees fit. Not only that, but he exiles the young men of the cult at will, some of whom where his relatives, and has his sect brainwashed into believing that not following his orders will ensure them an eternity in hell. See, shit like this is why, even though I believe in God, I'm not a big fan of organized religion.......too often shit like this debacle gets spawned.

American Idol debacle:

I'm not really sure what happened here but to dude that got voted off.......sucks to be you man.

Rise and run?:
This one's kinda funny to me. Apparently some lady in LA has been attempting to sue multiple clients over disabled citizens access. Obviously, the lady's in a wheelchair so you can see where her complaints would come from. But what's this? The bitch ain't even crippled. When the cops presented her with charges of fraud the dumbass got up and ran. Lesson folks, if you're gonna bullshit people.....at least try to keep up the facade when you get your ass busted. LMAO

Lemme stop before my brain melts. This shit is just too much for me to handle and it's making my blood boil. (Throws up two middle-fingers) I'm out dis bitch!